Your Sworn Enemy and You a guide to daily living
by Narya's Bane
Summary: Thoughts in the back of Mirax's mind during the book Rogue Squadron.


Author's Note: Enjoy! This is a copy of what might be running through Mirax Terrik's head during "Rogue Squadron", when she first meets Corran Horn. A little light self-mocking and all. Really fun, actually.  
  
Disclaimer: I WISH I owned some of this, and maybe I will someday. Until then, I'll just dream and study my scriptwriting. Anyone want to encourage. . ?  
  
Ah well.  
  
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Your Sworn Enemy and You- A Guide to Daily Living  
  
From Back of Your Mind Presses  
  
-------- __________ ---------------  
  
First off, let us- that is, the compilers of this knowledge- warn that we do NOT suggest the daily living approach to dealing with sworn enemies. It usually leads to knives being thrown and punches; at very best, it is a messy clean-up after you wreck your room getting stress relief. However, should this prove impossible to avoid, this handy guide just MIGHT make the situation survivable.  
  
So, we'll start with the beginning.  
  
Part One: That First Meeting, and Introductions.  
  
Note- Avoid if possible.  
  
When meetings become necessary, it is important to put on the most intimidating entrance the first time you greet your sworn enemy. This can be done by slow entrances, surprise visits, and simple preparation time on your part. Should you yourself become unsure during this meeting, or if you are the one surprised, it is best to stall courtesy until a mediator is available.  
  
A mediator should be an individual who knows both you and your sworn enemy well. This could be a family friend, a boss, or a local hero. In this case, however, you might find all three in one! Allow him to facilitate introductions, bringing tension from the initial shock and greeting to a minimum.  
  
Shake hands with your enemy- that's right. Ok, now turn and walk away.  
  
Turn and walk away.  
  
No, don't offer to help him. . .  
  
I SAID TURN AND WALK AWAY.  
  
Ok, let HIM turn and walk away.  
  
You're not going to be very good at this, are you?  
  
Part Two: Visiting Rights  
  
It's time for another chance. He's been on your mind, but surely that doesn't mean anything. Clearly there is animosity SOMEWHERE- you just need to latch on to it. Perhaps if you ignore him, it will all go away.  
  
Now, here comes your mutual friend. Under no circumstances can you agree to go with him and possibly meet up with your arc nemesis- yes, the situation does call for using such strong language! You're about to accept him as a good man!  
  
Anyway, under no circumstances will you agree to go to him.  
  
Even when your mutual friend describes him as lonely and hurt. Even once he tells it was only in the line of duty. Even when. . .  
  
You faltered again, didn't you? You agreed to meet him, too. Alone. How could you DO that? You don't even plan on using it to hurt him. You're putting together a flipping gift basket! Honestly, girl, do you ever learn?  
  
Turn back while you still can.  
  
Turn BACK.  
  
BACK!  
  
Fine, go in. See if we care. It can only get worse.  
  
Aha. See, it's the Bacta Queen. She's definitely not in a good mood, seeing as how you seem to have walked in on her trying to feel up said sworn enemy. Just turn around and go. Don't listen to his lies, saying you should stay. Ignore the look in his eyes, asking you to help get rid of her.  
  
IGNORE IT. Run.  
  
Or sit down. Hey, it's your father you'll be killing. No blood on our hands.  
  
Ok, so you've officially ruined this one. There's only one thing to do: embarrass him. Force him to show you what a spoilsport he is. Display your smuggled goodies on the bed- make him notice them, test them. Test you. Don't believe him when he's nice about it; don't find that sweetness endearing and loveable. It's a trap. Enemy. Do we need to spell it for you? He's an enemy. E-N-E-M-Y.  
  
Fine, enjoy his company. Again, it's not our father who'll. . .  
  
That's right. Stand up, go. Take that bottle of Whyrren's Reserve.  
  
I said TAKE IT.  
  
All right, then don't. Worth a good amount on the market, but hey- not our sale.  
  
Part Three: When Good Ships Go Badly  
  
Ok, so your ship has blown itself into pieces. Well, at least the ventilation system has. When being looked over, you know you need SOMEPLACE to stay, right? Here's our advice. . .  
  
Stay with your brother figure. Under no circumstances should you accept a spot near your sworn enemy. However, if he is going to be out with somebody else you have the ability to surprise him. Hmm. . .  
  
Ok, scratch previous advice. Take the keys, accept the spot. You can always give him a nasty awakening later on. If you ever get out of here.  
  
So you're out. Hooray for you- don't get cocky. Slide over to his room, and by all means make yourself comfortable. He won't be back for hours; his mind is on the Bacta Queen. Probably more of him is on the Bacta Queen as well.  
  
Hide under the covers. Yeah, like that. You got it. Nice, dark. . .  
  
When he opens the door unexpectedly, do not panic. Sit up a bit, but remain quiet. Remain still. When he starts undressing, pay it no mind.  
  
Don't think about how muscular he is, or how well built. Ignore that perfection. I said IGNORE it. Stop looking at him like that- get the lust out of your eye. Now.  
  
Ok, so you've been noticed. Tip one- play it casual. Pretend you don't care- express your belief he wouldn't be in. Do not, under any circumstances, compliment him. If you feel you must, be cruel about it.  
  
Yes! Just like that- "In your dreams, CorSec." Say it with me now. Don't be ashamed of it; that was a great insult. Don't take it back now. You cannot let him see. . .  
  
For the love of Sith, don't apologize. Like that- don't do that! He doesn't deserve an apology from you. He's your sworn enemy. Cut off the conversation; he's given you an opening, so take it. Before you lose your ability to rationalize, although you're obviously going there already. Honestly, how did you survive until now if you can't even stop thinking about your worst enemy? Luck?  
  
Ah, it's hopeless. Just mock him and be done with it.  
  
Under no circumstances should you start to respect him.  
  
Tease him. No, not like that! Seduce. S-E-D-U-C-E. Do I need to clarify? This is your last chance to redeem your composure!  
  
Perfect. Blankets. Sounds guilty enough.  
  
No! Not innocent! How. . . oh for the love of FRITH, go on. Obviously, I can't talk you out of it. Be his friend! See if I care!  
  
Part Four: Saving His Life  
  
Sorry kid, you blew it. Have fun with him, though!  
  
Yes, THAT kind of fun.  
  
Won't be long now. 


End file.
